Plot-bunny: Highlander / Stargate (2 of 3)

[marbleglove]

When I wrote A Square Peg in a Round Hole, I had a whole set of ideas for how to get Methos in contact with the SGC crew. At request, I’m posting what ideas I had at the time that I didn’t go forward with. Of them all, this was the closest second. I almost went with it a number of times and it wound up being more random chance than any particular reason that I went with Square Peg instead. .

The second of three Methos/Stargate plot-bunnies:



The bar was closed to the public but full of Watchers. They were all trading stories and just generally debreifing each other as they did every couple of weeks. When you had a secret life it was important to find some time to speak freely.

When teh phone rang, Joe Dawson, bar owner and area supervisor, delegated the task of answering it to one of his subordinates both in watcher training and in bar tending. He didn’t even think much of it until the young watcher put his hand over the mouthpiece and called out, “Guys? It’s someone calling for Methos.”

Dead silence.

Joe gave an agonized look at Adam Pierson whom he alone, of all the watchers, knew to be both immortal and that most elusive of the immortals, Methos. But everyone was looking around, confused and worried. Was Methos here? Did someone know they were watchers? Were they in danger? What should they do?

Finally Adam stood up. “Unless someone here is going to admit to being immortal, being my immortal...?” He paused and looked at each person in turn, studying them for some sign. “I’m going to answer and see what I can learn.”

There were nods of comprehension and approval and a few mouthed “good idea”s but everyone sat silent as he took the phone. “Yes?”

The Watchers watched and listened, straining to hear every word.

----------------

The Watchers milled around the bar quietly unhappy. The fact that Adam Pierson was fluent in multiple otherwise-dead languages had never before been so frustrating. Only two watchers, who had had previous assignments in Egypt, stayed still and focused near the bar, trying to understand a language that was like and yet unlike that which they knew.

But everyone perked up again when ADam spoek loudly in English. “If you harm him in any way before I get there I will personally skin you alive with a red hot spoon!”

The Watchers were pretty evenly split between looking appalled at the normally mild and gentle researcher’s threat and looking greatly impressed by it.

The phone back in its cradle, Adam slumped on a stool with his head in his hands. One of the more impatient of the Watchers finally said, “Well?”

Adam’s eyes were tired and his smile weak. “False alarm as far as Methos goes. A contact of mine wanted to get through to me without giving away my name. He doesn’t know who or what Methos is, just that its a word I keep track of, that I would respond to. He’s been arrested by the US military and is slated for execution.”

“I’m sorry, Adam.”

“Harsh.”

“But due process!”

“Who was your contact?”

“Why does a researcher have a contact?”

The responses came more or less at the same time, but the last one had a few of them puzzled. Active watchers might have “contacts” to get them past security checkpoints or into places they couldn’t get on their own but researchers stayed in libraries, right? Occasionally traveled to see the sights but not following dangerous individuals.

“Black market antique rings and tomb raiders. Smuggling weapons on the side. Occasional forgery.”

Adam rubbed his eyes again and they all remembered that it was late at night (or early in the morning, as the case may be) and they'd all been drinking. “The military was almost certainly monitoring that line so the security of this bar has been compromised. I’m sorry, Joe.”

“Don’t worry. It’s not the first time I’ve been investigated and I doubt it’ll be the last.”

“Be careful. That goes for all of you. Something screwy is going on. He had some of the best security I’ve seen but they caught him anyway. And they were just waiting to shoot.”

“Uh-huh,” Joe agreed warily. “And what about you?”

“The name Methos is used in a mysterious situation... I’ll investigate it, of course,” Adam spoke in mock surprise.

“You said it had nothing to do with Methos.”

“Yeah. But it does have to do with my friends and its still a mysterious situation.”

----------------

The SGC agents looked up from Daniels translation of what their most recent prisoner had said on the phone before they had managed to subdue him.

“Seriously?”

“That’s the translation.” Daniel shrugged with some bemusement of his own. “That’s what was said.”

“He is a goa’uld, isn’t he?” Jack asked.

It was a serious question. Sure, their prisoner had the goa’uld voice and the flashing eyes, but still… “the host called his dad?”

-------------------

The plot is that Methos had a son some two or three thousand years ago. He did not want him to die. And he was friends with a goa’uld. So for the last couple of thousand of years Methos has had a friend and a son who are immortal but not part of The Game. He loves having an immortal family and now someone is threatening that.

Comments

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

and some of them are students of dead immortals who do not appreciate having their images tainted online... Darius cheating at games, Rebecca's sexy adventures, Ramirez's stint as a landscape artist...

others from more recent times are wondering if they had ever met Methos, and who was he... more importantly had he written down anything really embarassing


loads of fake journals start to show up online and quite a few blogs/ mocking posts such as

The Very Secret Diary of Methos: Today was not a good day, still not King of Beer, am working to declare water unsafe to drink so can have beer all day long with no snide looks.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

Hah! Of course there would be fake diaries and mock diaries, and probably plays and movies based off of the diaries. And different actors playing the staring role of "Methos".

The real Methos knocks his head against the table repeatedly. He just knows his friends are going to watch those and mock him forever after.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

The SGC, NID, and just about everyone else are investigating every actor who plays Methos, as they consider him devious enough to act as himself so that he can respond to all accusations with him simply being an actor who played the role. However, Methos doesn't really like the idea of his appearance being captured for all time (or at least as long as the film media survives) and stays far away.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

You are absolutely right.

Some of his journals cover the times when he's a Watcher researching Methos, so they think this is clearly evidence. And hey, he let himself model for various artists in previous life times. But he'd avoid gratuitous digital archiving of his image.

I'm not sure what digital sound quality is like now or how well voice matches can be made, especially against a talented linguist and/or mimic, but I wonder if he might be tempted by the animated kids cartoon, voicing chibi-Methos. What do you think?

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

I think he would be tempted but he'd think it too dangerous to play himself, especially with how technology keeps improving and how everyone expects him to do so in some role. He might play another character though, especially if he practices twisting his voice before trying out. How about Methos as Darius? He could consider it a sign of respect.

I also have to wonder what part of Methos's adventures would make the kids cartoon, considering how most of history is not kid-friendly when studied in any detail. The only kids show I remember about history is Hysteria, which was mostly songs and catchy ways to remember history. What's a better way to capture kids' attentions that to tell them about the Vomitorium? And who needs to know the names of Henry VIII's wives when they can simply remember, "Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived." Unfortunately, I was never any good at remembering history in any detail.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

I loevd Hysteria... and I can so picture methos not as one of the actors but as one of the writers behind it, just saying hummm well what was missing from ancient china was the animaniacs dressed as ninjas and diabolical mice

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

Hysteria was gross but very fun and educational. :) I also watched Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. I guess for a kids tv show about Methos, they could do something like Hysteria. Instead of having a series that shows Methos's adventures in order based on how they occurred, the writers could choose a history topic and have chibi-Methos give an overview of the time period, location, and his life there - after editing out anything objectionable. Wouldn't want to encourage kids to drink now, would we?

Chibi-Methos's favorite drink will probably be milk, and he'll talk about how even Immortals should take care of their bodies. Cue the hysterical laughter from everyone who actually knows Methos. Methos himself will seriously consider taking action at this point, either against the show or by leaving Earth until all this dies down. I also have this idea that the SGC is smirking about how the stealing of the StarGate has been avenged.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

Daniel is probably horrified at how inaccurate the animation is, but Jack is smirking, definitely. He drinks his beer and watches every episode, feeling vindictive.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

Methos drinking milk in the show is especially likely if the show was originally made in another country with different ideas about what's appropriate for kids to watch. Maybe the Japanese saw this as a great opportunity, both to educate their kids and to export this show with customized episodes for other countries' histories. Drinking alcohol is pretty common in Japanese anime, even the ones aimed at kids, so when the show was brought to the US, they replaced the beer with milk. And all these kids grow up and get a real shock when they actually read Methos's journals.

Also, in all the confusion caused by the release of Methos's journals, I have to wonder what role the fake Methos will play. Sure, he's dead, but a number of Immortals have met him as Methos so that should at least cause some more confusion about Methos's appearance. Many of the ticked-off Immortals will be looking for the fake one instead, especially if they think that he was only pretending to be nice and pacifistic.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

Awesome! I had completely forgotten the issue of the fake Methos. But all mortals who are just being introduced to this are shocked at this blatant identify theft, while all the immortals are frustrated by this brilliant example of hiding. And not all of them believe that it is hiding/identify theft.

Plus, I hadn't thought about different countries' thoughts on kids stories, but of course that makes a great deal of sense. It's perfect.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

And who knows what'll happen if someone thinks up a clever idea. There'll probably be new common sayings such as, "That idea is on Methos's level" and "You're sneaky/cunning/smart enough to be Methos himself". And then Immortals and various organizations are trying to investigate some of the originators of the smarter ideas, especially if the idea took a completely new perspective and if the originator didn't want to be known. The organizations would have wanted to recruit the most talented people anyway, but now they have to check that they aren't accidentally recruiting Methos.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. So someone really talents but who shuns the spotlight would be called "the Methos of " So now the poor people trying to track down Methos are confronted by all sorts of talented people being referred to as Methos. And those aren't even the ones who are seriously trying to fake it.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

totally... Stargate is especially concerned because they really do need/want to find the real Methos and they keep getting pointed at their own crew

especially daniel who is an orphan expert on ancient languages...

Sam really doesn't like that Mackay got to be the Methos of Phisycs


and then internet awards start to elect every year a methos of something, maybe even working backwards in time

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

I somehow missed Hysteria entirely, but it sounds like a lot of fun. And I think you're right: Methos would be an awesome writer for the show. Because someone came up with the great idea of basing a children's cartoon off of Methos' adventures but then came across the problem of that most of those adventures aren't exactly kid friendly. Who better than Methos, though, to find the bits that can be sanitized?

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

Referring to your post about the story with Cleopatra and third-graders, are you sure that Methos has a good enough handle on modern-day kid-friendliness? :) Maybe he writes the main ideas for each show and someone else vets them for anything objectionable?

As for Hysteria, I remember it coming on before school. I was probably above the targeted age range, but in my family, all the kids ended up watching the same shows and movies. As the oldest, I was watching kids shows long after I probably should have grown out of them, and the younger kids were allowed to watch higher-rated shows and movies at younger ages than I remember being allowed to watch such things (though probably at older ages than most kids these days). The show would pick a topic and explain in easy-to-remember ways with lots of songs about historical figures. It also included a lot of potty humor, as one of the main characters was a baby who'd frequently mess up his diaper. Unfortunately, I've forgotten most of the details of this show.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

dont forget the animaniacas crashing the parties

and how every main historical character was played by the main ones
also kind of lke wishbones

well, now that im thinking about this, methos would likely try to flood the infomational venus so that he couldnt be tracked through the journals

maybe releasing some journals of other immortals and copies of supposedely lost works such as socrates and archimedes
this way thelinguists who could help translate his works are mostly busy with ther more important things... except the idiots online who keep creating memes and scanlating the journals into the gutenberg project

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

Good idea. I'm not sure he'd want to release the journals of other immortals, as they might lead to other ways of tracking him and tick off more immortals, but he could release "lost" works from his collection. He'd have to hide how he's doing it though. Maybe he sets up a group to "accidentally" find the works in a new location that he isn't connected to?

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

Or, what if he did release some other journal but everyone sneers at it and says that it's an obvious fake? It wasn't found with the rest of the journals, after all.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

yeas, make sure an ancient map to one of his caches is discovered, or maybe one from some other lost immortal that he knows...

he can use his minions to do that... I am firm beliver in Methos having minions,

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

I think he has a few students that he hasn't told anyone about and that he trusts as much as he can another Immortal. He asks them to help him out on occasion and gives them help when they need it. He's helped each of them plan escape routes from their current situations and hiding places, both to use if needed. A particularly trusted student might be given plans to use in certain circumstances. An example might be if the Watchers (as in the majority of the organization) have started killing Immortals again and the Watchers don't look like they can be salvaged.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

But do they know that they're his minions? Maybe it's a Kaiser Soze type of deal. Maybe you know someone who knows someone who once worked for him, but...

I also waiver or whether or not the Watchers are in fact Methos' minions. What are your thoughts?

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing that he keeps fairly good track of kids educations just so that he knows what sort of history his next persona will have.

Can't you just see him watching kids' cartoons and being mocked by Duncan? Then he explains that he needs to know this for when he changes identities. Mac is struck by the sense of it, so he starts watching it. Then Dawson comes in, sees them both watching cartoons, and nearly falls over he's laughing so hard.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[mountainelement.livejournal.com]

That makes sense. And then, while everyone is talking about all the contributions he could theoretically make to history, sociology, psychology, etc., he releases an article of the history of kids' cartoons, preferably under his own name if it's not too revealing.

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[lita-of-jupiter.livejournal.com]

and how pop culture changes and remains the same all througth the globe and human history

Re: Oh I do wish you would write this one

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

Heh.

I'm reminded of a story that I'm not sure is even online anymore, "Save the Last Dance for Me" by Dayspring.

Completely paraphrasing the conversation after Methos is conned into giving a history lesson to a bunch of third-graders:

"Do you know how many questions a 100 third graders can ask? Why did the men in Egypt wear dresses? How did they go to the bathroom? Did Cleopatra really get bit on the breast?"

Joe and Mac are laughing. "Well, did she?"

Methos shrugs. "Sure. It was large, and conveniently bare."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about being invited back."