Both shows have all this intense emotion and connection and most writers assume it's sexual because what else could it be?

But I like the definition of three types of love: eros (sexual), philos (friendship), and agape (religious). (And wow is that over-simplified)

Looking at the canon of both shows I see the love between the main characters as philos or possibly agape but decidedly not eros. All the characters have these short-lived sexual love affairs with women that don't really go anywhere, possibly because all of their emotional needs are already being met with their partner.